"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
