I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
