Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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