Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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