dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
