Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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