ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
