i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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