I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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