and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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