her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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