he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
