you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
