i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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