Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I checked into jail on foursquare
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
