think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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