I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
