I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
