Only a mothe r could love this liver
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He passed out mid-signature
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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