remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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