bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
