This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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