i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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