I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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