I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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