you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
