just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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