Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
