All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
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