so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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