Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
