So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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