I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
