if only i could text you this smell
it's like heaven, but drunker
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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