dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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