if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My room smells like vodka and shame
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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