hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
