Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
