If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
