cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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