yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
