We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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