So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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