The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
