garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
