Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
