not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
