i jhust puked up my retainher.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
