You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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