the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
