did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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